As a man of 24 I have lived a life none would have expected, or so I think. Being where I stand to tonight I am what many are not, happy and proud of who I am. From my creator I have been given many of advantages and been guided down many paths that have lead me here, a place where I live knowing that I belong and am right for. I have had the love and support of many. I have been taught and been provided with the abilities to become who am, but more importantly see hope and a bright future. Best of all I do not know what that future is.

There is something beautiful about hope. With hope inside you are destined to make yourself and the world around you better. Without a positive outlook for the future, you look only for immediate gratification, suck life from that and those which are around you, but most importantly you give up. “Live to learn, so that you may learn to live”

Traveling is curiosity. Wonderment of our surroundings, skepticism of what is told to us to be fact builds creation, expands ideas, and develops minds into their potential. With inspiration from this world our minds find their peak and feel useful.

Hope was lacking when a child walked into an Omaha shopping mall and killed those innocent people and himself. Wonder is lacking when people fail to understand each other, only recognizing the differences, failing to see their fellow man as even human as is the case with genocides such as the holocost, genocides in Rwanda, Cambodia, and elsewhere. Purpose is what lacks when we submit ourselves to doing that which is easy, comfortable, and socially accepted, when we push our dreams, but more importantly our happiness to the side for life’s cookie cutter decisions.

If I had parents that pushed me to build a family, a career that would bring me riches, and all the other parts of the American Dream, I would not be where I am. My path is unorthodox and by no means what I would have expected even 2 years ago. But I am proud of every step. Even when things weren’t perfect they were never bad and for that I am very gracious. But as I realized the other evening, my life is better than those who care for me could have ever hoped for. How I got here I don’t know. What I’ve done to deserve it, I have no idea. And how I will continue this feeling is something I’ll just have to work out.

I can point to many things in my immediate past that have lead me to my state of Zen as of late. One is my recent trip to Asia. There I reminded myself what I am capable of doing, how important it is to meet new people, what one can learn from others, and how much life I have to inspire people with. That confidence is powerful and has brought me to new heights. I wake up each day to live the life I have, meet and get to know those around me so that we can grow faster together than separated. “All the pain this world possesses comes from wishing happiness for ourselves, All the joy this world contains comes from wishing happiness for others”. Ever since I read that on the wall of a Buddhist monastery I’ve been moved to find my life I did not know existed. I took a step that day, I found a clue to unlocking the mystery known as life, my life, what it must possess to make me happy, and for that I’m grateful.

Big week for me and I’m not sure what it all means. My grandfather died and my aunt’s cancer is looking like its getting better. I’m so scared for her, my uncle, my mom, my extended family, and everyone who knows how special of a person she is. The news that she is getting better made my heart leap. The death of my grandfather didn’t make me blink. I didn’t know him and that was his loss not mine.

lila

for the first time in a while I feel change's grasp. maybe change is the wrong word...i choose instead time...not time, but instead another term that is not known to I. staring at pictures of my family celebrating a birthday i realize that this world changes drastically around us. though we feel the same day in day out we know we are changing though we can not see it as clearly as others do. like the sunset i seen last evening, the sun sets over the hills appearing to move quite quickly. but when it is at its peak in the sky we notice know movement. i'm afraid of the possibility of seeing that last quick movement in some that i love, even myself sometime. "get busy living or get busy dying" - shawshank redemption, sounds silly but i've always been struck by that line and felt a need to strive to live by its teachings. "no trade backs" - pearl jam, a line that hit me while driving on M-31 south towards chum's corners in my honda civic. why do i remember this cause i knew that in those three words held a bible on how to trance through this life that i have been given. to take every opportunity, cause it may not be there again, it may not EVER come again!

i worry like everyone of my choices. i try to look objectively before choosing from my choices as to see WHY i'm truly doing what i'm doing, WHY i'm going where i'm going, and for WHAT am i doing this for. i'm selfish. i like everyone does things for themselves. everyone chooses based on what will do them best. they may disguise it as a noble thing such as charity or forgiveness or sacrafice, but the truth is we choose that which we will benefit from the most. if given the chance to steal or not we may or may not take not depending on how moral we are but rather how guilty we will feel afterwards, or how well we are at disguising it, convincing ourselves that it is something else. i have never stole, cause i know i would feel guilty and the theft would not be worth the guilt i would feel. but another may steal because they feel it is their right. maybe simply their right cause their chances are limited and they must take or never get. or simply because they will feel little guilt and would relish in the ownership more than anyone else, thus justifying it and making it a livable give and...take.

there are many wants i want out of life. thus my buddhist learnings have not taken hold as of yet. buddhism is striving towards a life without desire. contentment for what is there and all the gifts that this universe has. and for the most part i am happy with what i have been given, have taken, and have received. but i do want more. i want to be many things, and be many things i will be. not all what i wanted to be however. for we adapt, we change, we choose to become, something other than what we once thought we would be, and that is the beauty and the mysticism of life. how that all takes place and to where we end up and to what finale we will be raised to. i'm not looking for a legacy. but i continue to strive towards that which will make me more real, and more like i think i should.

my grandmother is 80 and has no sign of slowing. my aunt is 50 something and has cancer and i'm worried for her. just retiring in the last few years she has begun to travel and move her life away from work which has grasped it tightly for many years. life is precious and i have been fortunate to hold onto most of those whom i love, and i pray for this to continue. reality check, gut check in progress.

my inspirations come hard and i hope to find meaning and expression to them so that they may never be lost, and to be for not.

why we travel

with only a few days left of my journey i'm ready to be home...maybe its cause i've been gone for over two month...maybe its because i'm looking forward to playing with my new kite i bought...maybe its the idea of being home with my mom and sister during the summer months when michigan is so beautiful that drives me towards home...or maybe its just that i'm in India again and the lack of personal space, personal heigene, and social works programs are driving me nuts!!! (i really don't like India anymore, sorry India, but your cities suck).

...I've had an amazing trip, I've met some amazing people, and have felt like I was engulfed in a National Geographic Adventure Magazine for the last 2 months...but i'm ready to go home

...we travel to SEE

...we travel to because when we do we have time...time to think...time to feel...time to organize our thought...time to justify our thoughts/ideas/notions...time to get away from all that is normal/comfortable/sane...by breaking away from our world and going to another world we realize what we have, what we don't, what we want, what we really really need rather than just want...

...it's life lived while on the road

we take everyday for what it should be when we are at home...everyday on the road is a gift, an opportunity to do/see/go...we don't take that mindset when we are in our normal lives...we see days as days we must survive to get somewhere else...mon-fri are days we must endure in order to get to a weekend, when even then we have duties/responsibilites...not to say that's bad...i'm not in any way some hippie now that wishes to escape the world through drugs and dissinence from the world we grew up in and lived until now...

...i'd rather love each day where i am, taking it as an opportunity to get things done, do things, and see that which is close enough...i have yet to explore my own state/country...i remember a summer when i worked on my car, worked with my uncle, worked on my boat etc. etc. etc...everday was full and vibrant, cause i had a cause, not that was obligated by me, but desired to be fullfilled by something inside of me...i have that again, i have many things i want to get done when i get home, and i'll have that time and i will not waste that opportunity...i won't get it all done, but some, and some things i don't plan on doing i will...

...then i'll begin shaping my next life, my next journey, probably somewhere other than michigan, with a responsible job, but a balance and a dedication to life...

...to whom much is given much is expected...I have been given SO MUCH...i have the world in front of me with every opportunity and option open to me...most people in this world don't have that and though i don't see that as bad, they have what they require, and everyone has a chance, but mine I see as greater and of it I must be responsible and not succumb to 9-5 standard job which fills my 401k...i can do better than that, i will be happier without that...i must find mine that fills me and those around me, make life priority number one

...what a cluster of thoughts is going through my head as I return to America my home, but i'm excited to start on that next journey that which is unknown to me...if anyone has any ideas, please let me know, i'm open to suggestions

see everyone soon!!!

made it to paradise

in a nice little bungaloo on lonely beach on koh chang in the indian ocean...life sucks

made it here after a long but very lucky day yesterday, i needed to hit everything on-time in order to make it here from phenom phen, cambodia in one day...and i did!!! i was very fortunate but a 14 hour day got me to where i needed to go, so now i won't have to move around for a few days...today i think a little motorbiking around the island to see the sights, maybe a haircut, maybe a massage, and of course a few cocktails...tomorrow i think i'll take a day tour snorkeling, eating bbq, and chilling on a deserted island........

LIFE SUCKS

Finally in Bangkok

Finally made it here last night, had a hell of a night on the main strip, a few beers, some good company, and a live band that rocked the place...I got some pics up on www.photobucket.com under the username redpage01 ...check em' out...more updates later

While stuck in Dharan, Nepal I was fortunate to meet this family who took me in for the night, fed me, spoke with me, and genuinely just wanted to be friendly to the ONLY foreigner in town!

The morning I went to this Buddhist temple in Kathmandu was the start of a 8-Game winning streak for the Tigers...I am now a Buddhist

Holy men of a Hindu Temple...the absolute worst people in India...exploiting religion to make money and exploit tourists

From a peak above Gokyo's 5th lake...hell of a climb, but well worth the amazing view of Gokyo Valley, Lakes, and Glaciers

View from Gokyo Ri at Sunrise (6:00Am)

Me and the Mountains from Dole at Sunset

My time spent in the mountains was 23 of the hardest days of my life. My knees ached, my back felt like it were to give out at any time, and though my feet held up pretty well they took took a beat down. I trekked and traveled with some amazing people whom I will never forget, and have made friendships with a number of people that I truly hope to stay in contact with and continue to get to know. And its funny, the reason I originally planned this trip was to see Everest Base Camp and yet I only spent a couple hours there and in no way was it the highlight of the trip, that just tells you not how disappointing base camp was, because it wasn't, but rather how unexpectedly amazing everything else was!

So now I'm in Darjeeling, been here for a few days, it is basically India-lite so I am able to stand it. I have changed my ticket so that I won't leave upper India till the 6th, giving me a few days to go up into Sikkim which is a restricted area since it borders both Tibet and Bhutan. But I was able to land a permit for 15 days and I'll head up tomorrow I think to see the monastaries and hopefully go to some hot springs without having to trek there. Either way it should be relaxing and hopefully further away from India's pollution, horns, and touts.

Me after 23 Days on the trail, before my Nepali haircut, massage, and beard trim which by the way was all done with "Teacher Scissors" and a basic comb

Something I saw at a park yesterday I liked, the other was "All the Joy this world contains has come from wishing happiness for others - All the Misery this world contains has come from wishing pleasure for ourselves", this pretty much sums up buddhism as it is suppose to be.

stuck in dharan

well after 8 days or so from namche through the arun valley, after days of hard hard climbs up and down through heat, clouds, rain, etc. i've made it to civilization once again. when we finally made it to the end/start of the road we grabbed a land rover which proceeded to go through 2 flat tires then to dump us off onto a tractor pulling a trailer, quite the bumpy and painful ride but it got us out of the middle hills of nepal.

unfortunately, now i sit in dharan baazar waiting for a bus strike to stop so i can in fact travel to india. i've been here two days and i'm sick of it and ready to move on as there is not much here, i'm the ONLY tourist in town, now that my two friends left or kathmandu last night. i'm still trying to figure out what people do here, its suppose to be a rather large city but its now 9:30 and people have yet to open stores and they seem more preoccupied with holding rallies and putting up posters supporting the maoists (communist party which recently, may 9th, was classified as a terrorist organization by the u.s. state department).

so here i wait to get to darjeeling, india which is home of my favorite tea. i'll now only have a day or so to be there unless i can change my tickets that i had purchased about a month ago.

my trip in the mountains was absolutely amazing, like being amongst giants for a month, traveling through jurassic park almost. staying in villages where as recently as 1999 offical police reports cited Yeti's (bigfoots) as the sole reason for attacks on animals and humans. spending the night in people's homes was great and only a few nights could be classified as uncomfortable. eating lots of dal bhat, which is the main dish that everyone eats here twice a day, which is also different everywhere you go, but mainly consisting of rice with lentil soup, and maybe a potatoe or veg curry, best part of it is that its served to you as an unlimited dish, they keep heaping on the portions till you are done.

the people are amazing (friendly "namaste"s everywhere you go), the food was great, my feet and back held up quite well (i'm sure i lost a few pounds)...so now with a fresh haircut and beard trim along with massage and strait razor neck shave yesterday ($1.50), i'm ready to move on and make my way towards thailand and cambodia for a few weeks...if the buses ever start moving again and the strike shutting down my road to india is ever lifted...